Dear God

Im back again. I dont even know what happened tonight. Im not entirely even sure its my fault. Hes playing these stupid games. Im so tired of them. how can i bring a child into the world with a father that wont grow up.Its only my second time comming to you in this matter and commiting to tal to you when i am troubled and im already tired of typing. Eventhing in my wants to stop writing and go watch a tv and handle this in the traditional matter. But that wont work. I need this child to have a functional family when its born, can you do that for me. CAn you make him grow up fast enough for us to be able to grow...at all. Lord you know my heart and the trouble and ache that brood in it...you know the cause of my pain when the words to sum them up fail to escape the grasp of my mind.I just need you to remember that im here, still crying out for a way back to yo for i know that once im save in youre arms and under youre protection that you wil give me the comfort i need to deal with what may come and the wisdom to know what action need to be taken. I dont know what going wrong with this relationship, please show me where our problems lie and how how i go about fixing it because i feel like i have tried everything that is within my human abilities and i have come up short. I need devine revelation. Oh Lord soothe my heart as i endure this walk, comfort my soul. For i know all have their trials and tribulations but i ask for at least to have you comfort as i endure mine. You said Lord that if we being wicked would give our children what they request how much more would you as the Father give us. Im asking you to give me theses things. In Jesus name i pray. amen

Dear God

Im writing this because i don't have the strength it takes to talk with you verbally. I get too easily distracted. They say that everyone has their own way of talking to you. Hopefully this will be mine. i am not entirely sure why i chose to write in a blog and not just a word document. Maybe its because im afraid of the words being lost with time, as you and i both know i have never been consistent enough. Maybe its becuase i secretly hope that there are others like me. Trying very hard to serve you the right way but failing miserably. You know that i have always seem you as the almighty and never and less. You have the power to do all, i dont doubt this. But since I haven't been praying like i need to or reading your words like i need to i guess i just doubt that you would use that power for me. i decided that everytime i feel the nee to talk to you instead of saying a couple of words in my mind and getting distracted by my emotions that i will just write it here. First times first, this marriage is clearly on the rocks. He so dishonest and deceitful. i know that he tries his hardest to do things for me but that isnt enough. Why can he try just as hard not to lie to me, im so sick and tired or all the secrets and the deleted web pages and the blatant lies. i know that alot of the times i take my anger out on him. i know that you said to love like you love...no less. And that is hard for me.... so hard. he frustrates the living daylights out of me. i swear hes a walking idiot sometimes. But i guess if he can stand being verbally abused all the time i can stand him being a perpetual liar. I know that its not suppose to be this way is it. when does this crap end when does the happy marriage start. i know that neither one of us will get to it if we dont come closer to you. But you are so far away already. I dont know how to get there. I know you hear all prays and you see what im unable to say. Please hear my cries, i need you and im stuck. save me.